Poisoned Bazooka Jokes The Real Deal
by There'sAlwaysHope
Summary: I have new plan Harls," began the Joker, "but we're gonna need some help!" he said cracking a grin. "Who, Puddin?" the little clown girl asked.
1. Prolouge: Are Ya Sure Mistah J?

POISONED BAZOOKA JOKES

PROLOUGE

ARE YOU SURE MISTAH J?

Harley never considered herself a team player. With Mistah J. it wasdifferent. They were partners not a team of three, but to pull this one offthey needed another person. Just one more and yet that really didn't changehow she felt on the subject. She liked being the only female within spittingdistance of Mistah J.

"Who do ya think, Puddin'?" Harley asked the Joker with a huge grin. Sheloved being in his company, especially right after a break out from Arkham. Hewas always in a wonderful mood then. She liked sitting next to him in the caras he looked out his window admiring Gotham speeding by, not that there wasmuch to admire. Though his grin was huge, usually was when he had a plan andthis time his plan, though she only had a very minimal amount of info, waswonderful, or atleast she knew it would be, and was sure to be absolutelybanana sandwich.

The Joker gave Harley a teasing grin. He knew exactly who he wanted to helpwith the job. He was The Joker for heaven's sakes. He had planned and pulledthe biggest heists Gotham had ever and would ever see. He had escaped Gothammore times then anybody else and. last but not least, avoided the clutches ofBatman more than any other villain could even fathom. People seemed to thinkthat because his face was painted like a clown he didn't plan but he did. Andthis time he had it all figured out and every detail thought out for hislittle plan.

"Who else but someone who knows how to use what the good lord gave 'em!"Joker exclaimed with a rather hysterical laugh and enough enthusiastic run New York City for an entire day.

In a way when he got like this it scared Harley but, in a good way. She lovedseeing that maniacal grin and hearing that twisted laugh. It made her feel socomfortable, so safe, so secure. 'Weird how Mistah J. is so excited about thisplan.' Harley thought. Though she wasn't too upset at the idea of who shethought he meant. After all they did get along. For the most part. Still,Harley didn't like sharing the female spotlight.

"Are ya sure Mistah J.? I mean, she's not necessarily the badest of themall." Harley questioned without sounding doubtful. She knew how Joker got whensomeone doubted him and that was never a pretty sight. Especially if you wereunlucky enough to be the one doubting him. For some people, though very few,it wasn't as bad as it was when she doubted him and she knew that. She triedher hardest not to make him angery and usually took out any doubt when it cameto questioning him.

"Har, Do I detect a bit of jealousy?" The Joker raised his eyebrows with atruly amused look on his face. Harley could tell that she wasn't in troublefor questioning him but she wasn't off the hook for wanting to be the onlyfemale getting any attention. It was obvious to him that she wanted to be theonly villaness in this plan. 'To bad for Harley.' His plan was set and noteven Harley Quinn could change that.

"Jealous of what, Puddin'? She hasn't even got buds! Get it buds?" BothHarley and Joker started laughing. Harley loved when she came up with her ownclever little puns. Joker seemed to have them down so easily and she wasreally jealous, but not too much.

"Well, if your not Jealous, Har, then there's no reason why she can't joinus." Joker said tickling Harley's chin. He knew that he was in control but,Harley was emotionally fragile and if he shattered her emotions his planswould shatter too. "Besides your my one and only." He said stretching it out abit more then need be. Still if he wanted Harley to be all in, he knew he hadto be as well.

It wasn't that he didn't care about Harley. Yes she was important to him. Butshe was disposable. Very disposable. He gave her a reassuring glance and aloving touch on the shoulder.

Harley lit up and her grin shot ear to ear. The Joker really was in a goodmood and Harley absolutely loved it when Joker got all loving like that. Itwas all that she could really hope for. Even after a breakout from Arkham and a the smell of freedom mixed with anew, and completely oblivious driver, The Joker was rarely this happy andHarley loved it.

"Okay, Mistah J.! You do normally know what's best!" she said planting a peckon his cheek. Besides she didn't particularly mind their soon to beaccomplice. She kept her face kinda close to his after giving him the peck. The Joker decided to pull things out again despite the unimportance of it.

"Give daddy some real sugar!" he said kissing Harley on the lips andbeginning a make-out session in the back seat of the car. The driver continuedto drive around aimlessly. He knew better than to interrupt Joker ever. Surehe had heard every word but he knew better then to rat on the Joker. That wassuicide and to be honest he wasn't quite ready to die though he probably wouldin the process of this new mission, even he knew that if you worked for theJoker you weren't likely to be around for much long.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I hope that you liked this and comment. Please tell me how you think I could make this any better and get ready for CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 1: Praise & Affection

**Poisoned Bazooka Jokes**

**Chapter 1**

Praise & Affection

Harley shook her head has Mistah J. looked out the window. She knew that he wasn't one for keeping her in the look, but why couldn't he tell her just a little. Something more than, "Harley, I have a new plan but we're going to need some help!" Any time he feffered to "help" he mwant more than his goons.

She hated how he wanted to be so secretive. She hadn't ruined a plan before, and Harley had no intention to do so any time soon. Not that it mattered. He seemed all to content with keeping her very uninformed. Atleast she knew they were going to bring in Red. Red always knew how to conect with Harley and despite the fact that Harley didn't get to play the lead girl anymore she would still get to be the Jokers one and only.

He had no idea why she was shakeing her head. He just wanted to slap that doubting look off her face. It shouldn't be that unexpected anymore. He never told her more then that there was a plan. harley was too persuadable. Sure she'd never ratted him out or ruined a plan, not that she would dare, but Joker kept her uninformed just incase. Still a sulky and doubtful Harley wasn't good for his plan. She needed to be mentally, emotionally, and physically in tip-top shape.

"Har, Where should we hideout this time? We don't want another Bat problem!" he asked knowing what she would say. though he hated giving her even the slightest amount of power.

Her face showed shock but she knew not to hold that expression for long. It wasn't that the Joker got mad if she was shocked but if she was shocked she was doubitng him and his capability to giver her a choice. Mistah J. had nothing if not a big ego and when she tried to undermine him well that was good enough lines for a nice little pop in his book. So her shocked expression quickly turned into a non-gloating and unsure smile. She knew that Joker hated shareing contol and by giving her the option he meant something. Unfortuneatly, Harley never realized what and took it has pure love.

"Are ya sure ya want me to choose Mistah J.?" she asked loveingly placeing a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course Harl! You always have such a nice taste in hideouts and it's all about what my sugar wants!" he told her putting his hand on her cheek with a giant grin. He knew he was playing his cards right and without a doubt Harley wouldn't have any problem being exactly what he needed her to be.

"How about...", Harley began giving the idea serious thought. Being given an option was such a rare ocurance that she savored it and considered her options carefully. "...the funhouse at the abandoned amuesment park!" she said thinking of all the fun times her and Mistah J. had had there.

"Wonderful choice Harley, my girl!" he exlaimed with yet another rather large grin. Yup, he knew her so well. She was so predictable, then again Harley Quinn wasn't that hard to figure out.

"Really Puddin'?" Harley lover hearing prais from him. It was her drug, her addiction, though she got it so rarely she couldn't help needing it. It was something that she craved all the time. Weather it was the lonesome nights in Arkham, the long hard days of recovery at Ivy's, or even the fun times with her puddin' pulling of a heist. She wanted it, had to have it, it was the power that kept her running.

"Of Course! I love it at the funhouse as much has you!" he answered adding yet again grinning despite the fact that he hated the funhouse. Everytime they were there Harley felt like they would settle down and pop out a couple Joker Jr.s and that wasn't likely. '_Atleast not anytime soon!_ ' he thought to himself.

Harley grinned to herself. She was always so sure that he hated it there. It was like at the funhouse he was in a bad mood and his face was sour, Yet right now Joker couldn't seem to quit smileing.

She turned to her puddin'. She noticed a lock of his green hair fell down onto his face. Harley reached out and pushed her hair back. When she did the Joker put his arm around her and said, "Thanks Pooh!"

Twenty minutes later they were pulling into the abandoned amusement park. Harley looked out the windowwith a large girn. '_Home Sweet Home_' she thought. As she got out of the with Joker she started to think. If they needed Red, they were gonna have to get her!"

"Hey, Mistah J. if we need Red, when are we gonna get her?" questioned Harley with out sounding to curious about the plan. She really didn't want to frustrate her puddin'. He had been so generous and thoughtful in letting her choose the hideout. '_My Puddin's so good ta' me.' _

He could tell that she was trying not to be too nosey about his plan and he appreciated that. It wasn't like Harley often kept it has he put it. Maybe he'd let her choose the hideout more often.

"All in good tiem my dear girl." he replied coyley. Has the entered the funhouse Joker felt has if they had never left. It was renevated to look just like a real house and it was true they had had some pretty good times here. Though his idea of a good time wasn't quite the same has Harleys. He put one arm around his waist and put his other arm ontop of it, gently placeing his hand on his cheek. All the wonderful plans that had come to his twisted little mind that were planned here. He scanned the main area and his eyes soon fell upon Harley who immediaiatly set to cleaning up to make the Joker at home. The Joker grabbed her hand and dragged her into the bedroom.

"What's the mess in here?" she asked sweetly scanning the room for some dust or something. Surely her puddin' wanted to take a nap in a clean room.

"Harley, Harley, sit, relax, take a load off, and have some _fun_!" He told her sitting on the bed and patting a spot next to him. He quickly noticed a mischeviously happy look come onto Harley's bare face has she walked towards him.

"What a _fun _house, Mistah J." she said happy with her own wittiness.

TO BE CONTINUED

_I really hope that you're likeing it. I think that this is probabbly much better than the prolouge but maybe not. Stay tuned for the next chapter and feel free to review though you really don't have too, OR DO YOU? Lol_


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